








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2431 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1048 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 201 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11335 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 33,601 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7201 | 21% |
| Smokes | 8166 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 8175 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 10059 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,423,701 of utility $194 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 632 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | La$t turn Β© | 68% | 92 |
| #2 | βͺ steel | 64% | 81 |
| #3 | β¦ΠΊπππΠΊππ | 59% | 119 |
| #4 | Nix0Π^ | 58% | 105 |
| #5 | scarfaceβ | 56% | 332 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | π¨ππππ | 25 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | βͺ steel | 10 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | σ ³β§β§vince | 9 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Nix0Π^ | 9 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | scarfaceβ | 8 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | π¨ππππ | 1712 | 0.14 | 47 min |
| #2 | σ ³β§β§vince | 1189 | 0.17 | 33 min |
| #3 | scarfaceβ | 887 | 0.13 | 18 min |
| #4 | β¦ΠΊπππΠΊππ | 650 | 0.26 | 16 min |
| #5 | Nix0Π^ | 405 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nix0Π^ | +2.32 | 68 | 81 |
| #2 | β¦ΠΊπππΠΊππ | +1.19 | 79 | 66 |
| #3 | La$t turn Β© | +0.47 | 66 | 67 |
| #4 | Caesar | +0.38 | 69 | 61 |
| #5 | σ ³β§β§vince | +0.33 | 66 | 69 |





