








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1313 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 244 matches | ||
| Wingman | 121 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 54 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




54 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3774 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,560 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1248 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2078 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 1227 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1007 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,157,066 of utility $282 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 951 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | keinen Bonus | 53% | 131 |
| #2 | Amex | 51% | 117 |
| #3 | gutes Spiel | 46% | 156 |
| #4 | bmusprimus | 43% | 96 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | keinen Bonus | 53% | 131 |
| #2 | Amex | 51% | 117 |
| #3 | gutes Spiel | 46% | 156 |
| #4 | bmusprimus | 43% | 96 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gutes Spiel | 74 | 0.0234 |
| #2 | bmusprimus | 41 | 0.0228 |
| #3 | keinen Bonus | 29 | 0.0106 |
| #4 | Amex | 25 | 0.0110 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | keinen Bonus | 368 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #2 | gutes Spiel | 190 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #3 | Amex | 107 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #4 | bmusprimus | 62 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Glatzkopf | +3.16 | 82 | 44 |
| #2 | Amex | -0.98 | 30 | 37 |
| #3 | keinen Bonus | -1.18 | 19 | 65 |
| #4 | gutes Spiel | -1.54 | 11 | 49 |
| #5 | bmusprimus | -2.81 | 19 | 48 |





