








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 666 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 103 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 95 matches | ||
| Premier | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




118 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2449 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,617 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2041 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1207 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 1835 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1534 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,260,116 of utility $190 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1174 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | keinen Bonus | 47% | 93 |
| #2 | Amex | 46% | 46 |
| #3 | Glatzkopf | 43% | 96 |
| #4 | gutes Spiel | 37% | 93 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | keinen Bonus | 47% | 93 |
| #2 | Amex | 46% | 46 |
| #3 | Glatzkopf | 43% | 96 |
| #4 | gutes Spiel | 37% | 93 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gutes Spiel | 52 | 0.0292 |
| #2 | Glatzkopf | 33 | 0.0183 |
| #3 | keinen Bonus | 19 | 0.0105 |
| #4 | Amex | 17 | 0.0193 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | keinen Bonus | 210 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #2 | gutes Spiel | 84 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #3 | Glatzkopf | 81 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #4 | Amex | 35 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Glatzkopf | +4.24 | 83 | 41 |
| #2 | bmusprimus | +0.66 | 27 | 50 |
| #3 | keinen Bonus | -0.20 | 24 | 65 |
| #4 | Amex | -0.41 | 34 | 37 |
| #5 | gutes Spiel | -1.37 | 13 | 46 |





