








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 71 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 29 matches | ||
| Premier | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
864 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,551 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 730 | 29% |
| Smokes | 679 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 553 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 589 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $188,560 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 54 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | MÖHÖMAHA | 65% | 26 |
| #5 | 𝐑U𝐙𝐙K𝐈𝐙 | 60% | 5 |
| #6 | Rapatello | 57% | 46 |
| #7 | MÖRKÖ | 29% | 14 |
| #8 | demuh o_O | 27% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rapatello | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rapatello | 99 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #2 | MÖHÖMAHA | 66 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | MÖRKÖ | 54 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #4 | demuh o_O | 52 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #5 | make | 45 | 0.10 | 1 min |





