








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 692 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 319 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3904 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,543 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2454 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2247 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1342 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1500 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,012,889 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 647 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | squa$h | 56% | 54 |
| #2 | dalcan | 53% | 86 |
| #3 | Vaporized | 44% | 117 |
| #4 | ic0nic | 39% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | squa$h | 56% | 54 |
| #2 | dalcan | 53% | 86 |
| #3 | Vaporized | 44% | 117 |
| #4 | ic0nic | 39% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dalcan | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Vaporized | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | squa$h | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | ic0nic | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dalcan | 480 | 0.25 | 13 min |
| #2 | Vaporized | 328 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #3 | squa$h | 105 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | ic0nic | 92 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | squa$h | +1.53 | 58 | 60 |
| #2 | dalcan | +0.78 | 61 | 63 |
| #3 | RomaGabe | +0.63 | 73 | 41 |
| #4 | Vaporized | +0.40 | 50 | 60 |
| #5 | ic0nic | -2.44 | 38 | 50 |





