








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 98 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 42 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
508 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,918 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 646 | 34% |
| Smokes | 522 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 337 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 413 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $307,231 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 19 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | 2009 Ford Taurus | TRADEIT | 60% | 5 |
| #4 | RomaGabe | 39% | 36 |
| #5 | Vaporized | 33% | 12 |
| #6 | squa$h | 31% | 16 |
| #7 | dalcan | 29% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dalcan | 2 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | RomaGabe | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | squa$h | 1 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | Vaporized | 1 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ekzz | +3.17 | 94 | 64 |
| #2 | squa$h | +1.89 | 48 | 54 |
| #3 | dalcan | +0.50 | 71 | 64 |
| #4 | Vaporized | +0.28 | 48 | 68 |
| #5 | RomaGabe | -0.01 | 78 | 39 |





