








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 20 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 10 matches | ||
| Esplay | 2 matches | 2,071 | |
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
318 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 700 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 253 | 36% |
| Smokes | 180 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 144 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 123 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $67,986 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hugo | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | Knasen01 | 60% | 15 |
| #3 | Frostis™ (איש השלג) | 57% | 14 |
| #4 | Örsk | 53% | 17 |
| #5 | pengabutik (taylor's version) | 50% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Knasen01 | 60% | 15 |
| #3 | Frostis™ (איש השלג) | 57% | 14 |
| #4 | Örsk | 53% | 17 |
| #5 | pengabutik (taylor's version) | 50% | 18 |
| #6 | Måsen | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Örsk | 10 | 0.0282 |
| #2 | Knasen01 | 6 | 0.0186 |
| #3 | pengabutik (taylor's version) | 5 | 0.0128 |
| #4 | Måsen | 1 | 0.0103 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Örsk | 124 | 0.35 | 2 min |
| #2 | pengabutik (taylor's version) | 56 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #3 | Frostis™ (איש השלג) | 35 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | Knasen01 | 21 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #5 | Måsen | 7 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vanino | +4.22 | 72 | 63 |
| #2 | Örsk | +0.91 | 65 | 55 |
| #3 | hugo | +0.28 | 67 | 64 |
| #4 | Knasen01 | -0.59 | 47 | 53 |
| #5 | pengabutik (taylor's version) | -1.31 | 42 | 39 |





