








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 136 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 139 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 102 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2222 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,562 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2353 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2814 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1952 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1443 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $605,347 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 859 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ur Hoe Luvs Me | 63% | 35 |
| #2 | Майкл Джордан | 55% | 135 |
| #3 | Panzer | 52% | 183 |
| #4 | yobama | 52% | 131 |
| #5 | J6ks | 49% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yobama | 17 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | Майкл Джордан | 13 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | Greg | 7 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | Panzer | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Ur Hoe Luvs Me | 3 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yobama | 326 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #2 | Panzer | 224 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #3 | Майкл Джордан | 151 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | J6ks | 135 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | Greg | 121 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Panzer | +5.64 | 93 | 56 |
| #2 | J6ks | +1.29 | 63 | 60 |
| #3 | Майкл Джордан | +0.01 | 69 | 53 |
| #4 | Ur Hoe Luvs Me | -0.18 | 59 | 57 |
| #5 | Tsukini | -0.47 | 61 | 54 |





