








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 922 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 295 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 43 matches | ||
| Faceit | 39 matches | ||
| Wingman | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 52 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7218 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,993 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3803 | 21% |
| Smokes | 6377 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 2923 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 4890 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,908,023 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 174 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yobama | 53% | 83 |
| #2 | Tsukini | 52% | 183 |
| #3 | Ur Hoe Luvs Me | 52% | 198 |
| #4 | Майкл Джордан | 51% | 440 |
| #5 | J6ks | 51% | 168 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Майкл Джордан | 33 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | Greg | 19 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | yobama | 13 | 0.0077 |
| #4 | Ur Hoe Luvs Me | 10 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | Tsukini | 6 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ur Hoe Luvs Me | 753 | 0.19 | 18 min |
| #2 | Tsukini | 614 | 0.17 | 14 min |
| #3 | Майкл Джордан | 561 | 0.06 | 14 min |
| #4 | Greg | 385 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #5 | J6ks | 291 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Panzer | +5.05 | 92 | 59 |
| #2 | J6ks | +0.28 | 62 | 59 |
| #3 | Ur Hoe Luvs Me | +0.12 | 58 | 60 |
| #4 | Майкл Джордан | -0.68 | 69 | 51 |
| #5 | Tsukini | -1.48 | 59 | 54 |





