








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 304 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 254 matches | ||
| Premier | 39 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3456 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,068 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5146 | 28% |
| Smokes | 4797 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4091 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4034 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $505,700 of utility $62 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 283 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kaizer | 62% | 26 |
| #2 | Koss | 56% | 18 |
| #3 | ConTex | 54% | 24 |
| #4 | Chunky Milk | 46% | 68 |
| #5 | vex-_- | 44% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ConTex | 54% | 24 |
| #4 | Chunky Milk | 46% | 68 |
| #5 | vex-_- | 44% | 18 |
| #6 | Saïx | 44% | 71 |
| #7 | pepeAGK | 43% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chunky Milk | 7 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | Saïx | 7 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | pepeAGK | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | vex-_- | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pepeAGK | 213 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #2 | Chunky Milk | 212 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #3 | Saïx | 158 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | vex-_- | 69 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #5 | ConTex | 58 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ConTex | +2.14 | 65 | 66 |
| #2 | Chunky Milk | +0.80 | 73 | 56 |
| #3 | qwispyspwite | +0.70 | 74 | 68 |
| #4 | Koss | +0.26 | 88 | 64 |
| #5 | Saïx | -0.29 | 71 | 62 |





