








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 51 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 142 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2078 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,669 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1311 | 14% |
| Smokes | 3052 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2660 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2646 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,160,281 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 90 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ๐ฒ๐ท๐ฆ | 15 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | Anakn | 14 | 0.0081 |
| #3 | ใโกใ | 8 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | diana | 5 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | Popeโข | 5 | 0.0080 |





