








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1632 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 702 matches | ||
| Premier | 302 matches | ||
| Faceit | 109 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10100 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,087 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5834 | 26% |
| Smokes | 5221 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 6534 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 4498 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $5,885,904 of utility $245 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1463 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | boba | 58% | 589 |
| #2 | KkillerDude | 58% | 464 |
| #3 | pineapple jam | 58% | 521 |
| #4 | nico | 55% | 220 |
| #5 | purple | 52% | 200 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | KkillerDude | 58% | 464 |
| #3 | pineapple jam | 58% | 521 |
| #4 | nico | 55% | 220 |
| #5 | purple | 52% | 200 |
| #6 | Zephyrus^ | 51% | 188 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pineapple jam | 36 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | KkillerDude | 20 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | nico | 17 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | boba | 16 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | purple | 7 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pineapple jam | 1778 | 0.17 | 36 min |
| #2 | KkillerDude | 1650 | 0.17 | 45 min |
| #3 | boba | 1360 | 0.11 | 25 min |
| #4 | Zephyrus^ | 845 | 0.22 | 19 min |
| #5 | nico | 750 | 0.17 | 21 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chef_Y | +1.85 | 74 | 53 |
| #2 | nico | +1.25 | 75 | 73 |
| #3 | boba | +0.43 | 74 | 66 |
| #4 | pineapple jam | -0.02 | 41 | 59 |
| #5 | KkillerDude | -1.08 | 62 | 67 |





