








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 59 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 107 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2407 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,528 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2200 | 40% |
| Smokes | 1543 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1586 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 199 | 4% |
Our logs show you have wasted $890,018 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hz | 73% | 22 |
| #2 | ♰ Lucifer ♰ | 64% | 44 |
| #3 | krstN | 63% | 91 |
| #4 | Ingz | 55% | 29 |
| #5 | mrlog101 | 54% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hz | +5.78 | 91 | 57 |
| #2 | Ingz | +3.71 | 49 | 65 |
| #3 | Engilbert | +3.40 | 68 | 60 |
| #4 | ♰ Lucifer ♰ | +2.83 | 71 | 64 |
| #5 | mrlog101 | +0.87 | 29 | 25 |





