








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 428 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 166 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2343 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,409 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4115 | 44% |
| Smokes | 2082 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2022 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1190 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $656,485 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 29 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Engilbert | 63% | 91 |
| #2 | hz | 61% | 41 |
| #3 | Engeloberto | 52% | 126 |
| #4 | b0nk3z | 50% | 40 |
| #5 | ♰ Lucifer ♰ | 45% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Engilbert | 63% | 91 |
| #2 | hz | 61% | 41 |
| #3 | Engeloberto | 52% | 126 |
| #4 | b0nk3z | 50% | 40 |
| #5 | ♰ Lucifer ♰ | 45% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♰ Lucifer ♰ | 7 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | b0nk3z | 2 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | b0nk3z | 177 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #2 | Engeloberto | 153 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #3 | Engilbert | 145 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | hz | 110 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | ♰ Lucifer ♰ | 91 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hz | +4.90 | 84 | 63 |
| #2 | b0nk3z | +4.30 | 86 | 73 |
| #3 | Engilbert | +2.34 | 66 | 57 |
| #4 | ♰ Lucifer ♰ | +1.37 | 59 | 62 |
| #5 | Engeloberto | +0.04 | 70 | 60 |





