








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 101 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2516 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,441 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1565 | 45% |
| Smokes | 454 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 932 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 490 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $492,414 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 157 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MARAKESH | 72% | 18 |
| #2 | 88_Lemonade | 62% | 13 |
| #3 | sj | 60% | 10 |
| #4 | D-X | 60% | 30 |
| #5 | Gunmaster | 56% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Fire-Ball | 42% | 12 |
| #9 | EttOne | 40% | 10 |
| #10 | Giffie | 36% | 11 |
| #11 | Pepe Julian Onzima | 36% | 14 |
| #12 | Tazerface | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gunmaster | 3 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | D-X | 2 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | MARAKESH | 2 | 0.0050 |
| #4 | Die_kwagga_vis | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | SunshineKiller | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gunmaster | 100 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #2 | Die_kwagga_vis | 39 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #3 | Giffie | 37 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #4 | Pepe Julian Onzima | 33 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| #5 | SunshineKiller | 26 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nuke | +6.12 | 83 | 45 |
| #2 | Gunmaster | +3.37 | 59 | 62 |
| #3 | MARAKESH | +2.10 | 24 | 67 |
| #4 | SunshineKiller | -0.96 | 19 | 59 |
| #5 | D-X | -2.01 | 47 | 60 |





