








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 851 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 155 matches | ||
| Esplay | 108 matches | 2,084 | |
| Faceit | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4448 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,161 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2307 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2815 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2894 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3145 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,662,999 of utility $183 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1929 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | diver6ty | 60% | 35 |
| #2 | 「Justice」 | 59% | 39 |
| #3 | RespawN | 59% | 51 |
| #4 | Young Grave | 58% | 64 |
| #5 | Savage | 56% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Young Grave | 7 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | bearJ | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | rixZn | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | RespawN | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | 「Justice」 | 2 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bearJ | 456 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #2 | RespawN | 193 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #3 | rixZn | 189 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | spinz | 170 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #5 | 「Justice」 | 165 | 0.17 | 5 min |





