








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 51 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 57 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1111 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,553 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 764 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1026 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 967 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 796 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $243,541 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 62 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | matervestra | 69% | 13 |
| #2 | sup | 69% | 26 |
| #3 | soak | 63% | 8 |
| #4 | [ELF] Artic | 63% | 8 |
| #5 | jennerboy | 59% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | soak | 63% | 8 |
| #4 | [ELF] Artic | 63% | 8 |
| #5 | jennerboy | 59% | 17 |
| #6 | No u | 58% | 19 |
| #7 | Hjelt | 57% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jennerboy | 2 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | sup | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | matervestra | 1 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | soak | 1 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | [ELF] Artic | 1 | 0.0059 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jennerboy | 76 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #2 | sup | 61 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | matervestra | 57 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #4 | No u | 27 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | [ELF] Artic | 22 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Toby | | +3.15 | 78 | 71 |
| #2 | sup | +1.45 | 81 | 60 |
| #3 | matervestra | +0.34 | 61 | 81 |
| #4 | Hjelt | -0.01 | 37 | 62 |
| #5 | soak | -0.09 | 69 | 43 |





