








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 431 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 459 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3273 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,801 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3316 | 22% |
| Smokes | 3954 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2863 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 4668 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,146,908 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 133 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VARTIOMIÄS | 56% | 36 |
| #2 | My Toe Tuo Pi | 44% | 299 |
| #3 | voluk | 44% | 394 |
| #4 | Kimple | 43% | 398 |
| #5 | Skynet.tns | 41% | 298 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kimple | 27 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | voluk | 21 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Skynet.tns | 19 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | My Toe Tuo Pi | 16 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | Counttis | 6 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | voluk | 1219 | 0.15 | 36 min |
| #2 | Counttis | 527 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #3 | Kimple | 388 | 0.05 | 8 min |
| #4 | Skynet.tns | 383 | 0.06 | 11 min |
| #5 | My Toe Tuo Pi | 290 | 0.05 | 7 min |





