








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 171 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1295 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,265 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 788 | 35% |
| Smokes | 399 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 345 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 733 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $212,288 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Napalm Turtle | 78% | 9 |
| #2 | Prince | 73% | 15 |
| #3 | Dronebott | 66% | 59 |
| #4 | ENCE Officer Nasty | 62% | 42 |
| #5 | Alucard | 57% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ENCE Officer Nasty | 6 | 0.0074 |
| #2 | j | 4 | 0.0065 |
| #3 | Dronebott | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Alucard | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Prince | 1 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jmmyi | +6.13 | 94 | 59 |
| #2 | Dronebott | +4.58 | 88 | 75 |
| #3 | Napalm Turtle | +2.03 | 65 | 59 |
| #4 | Prince | +0.26 | 72 | 31 |
| #5 | Alucard | -2.35 | 52 | 37 |





