








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 91 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
171 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 695 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 234 | 34% |
| Smokes | 246 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 146 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 69 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $78,437 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 59 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Viktor | 64% | 11 |
| #2 | Laze | 56% | 9 |
| #3 | McKingWay | 50% | 6 |
| #4 | доммеь0506 | 47% | 15 |
| #5 | SolidSlug47 | 44% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Laze | 56% | 9 |
| #3 | McKingWay | 50% | 6 |
| #4 | доммеь0506 | 47% | 15 |
| #5 | SolidSlug47 | 44% | 16 |
| #6 | Wahran | 40% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wahran | 5 | 0.0162 |
| #2 | Viktor | 3 | 0.0126 |
| #3 | доммеь0506 | 2 | 0.0063 |
| #4 | McKingWay | 2 | 0.0156 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wahran | 73 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| #2 | доммеь0506 | 43 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #3 | Viktor | 17 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #4 | Laze | 6 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #5 | McKingWay | 6 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wahran | +5.59 | 69 | 61 |
| #2 | доммеь0506 | +3.38 | 62 | 53 |
| #3 | Laze | +1.72 | 35 | 56 |
| #4 | SolidSlug47 | -0.60 | 28 | 29 |
| #5 | jeo bied | -2.15 | 41 | 48 |





