








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 225 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
631 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,708 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 391 | 23% |
| Smokes | 351 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 682 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 284 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $376,446 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 83 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jeo bied | 64% | 11 |
| #2 | Франк | 53% | 17 |
| #3 | доммеь0506 | 51% | 70 |
| #4 | SolidSlug47 | 48% | 65 |
| #5 | Wahran | 45% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | доммеь0506 | 51% | 70 |
| #4 | SolidSlug47 | 48% | 65 |
| #5 | Wahran | 45% | 58 |
| #6 | Laze | 41% | 29 |
| #7 | McKingWay | 37% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wahran | 15 | 0.0125 |
| #2 | доммеь0506 | 13 | 0.0088 |
| #3 | Laze | 7 | 0.0115 |
| #4 | SolidSlug47 | 6 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | McKingWay | 5 | 0.0119 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wahran | 213 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #2 | доммеь0506 | 155 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | Франк | 65 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #4 | jeo bied | 41 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #5 | McKingWay | 33 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wahran | +4.34 | 67 | 63 |
| #2 | доммеь0506 | +3.77 | 62 | 60 |
| #3 | Франк | +2.98 | 74 | 58 |
| #4 | jeo bied | -0.68 | 44 | 48 |
| #5 | Laze | -0.74 | 25 | 48 |





