








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 338 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1599 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,258 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1413 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1645 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1620 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1580 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $223,043 of utility $79 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 251 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★ Borgi [ƒĢĄĦ] | 58% | 45 |
| #2 | xDEDANx | 51% | 132 |
| #3 | Pedders | 47% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★ Borgi [ƒĢĄĦ] | 58% | 45 |
| #2 | xDEDANx | 51% | 132 |
| #3 | Pedders | 47% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xDEDANx | 6 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | ★ Borgi [ƒĢĄĦ] | 4 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xDEDANx | 262 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #2 | Pedders | 90 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | ★ Borgi [ƒĢĄĦ] | 77 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Oompa Loompa | +2.74 | 69 | 73 |
| #2 | Pedders | -0.56 | 61 | 69 |
| #3 | xDEDANx | -1.45 | 64 | 74 |
| #4 | ★ Borgi [ƒĢĄĦ] | -1.80 | 60 | 72 |





