








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 198 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1981 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,854 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1614 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1133 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1138 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 969 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,240,117 of utility $244 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 306 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | stizza | 46% | 93 |
| #10 | MARKYY | 46% | 74 |
| #11 | ✪ peepoKing | 46% | 35 |
| #12 | Just Jesse | 38% | 21 |
| #13 | serial killer snoopy | 20% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tony | 39 | 0.0093 |
| #2 | stizza | 22 | 0.0121 |
| #3 | MARKYY | 8 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | Voilà | 4 | 0.0090 |
| #5 | ✪ peepoKing | 3 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tony | 779 | 0.19 | 21 min |
| #2 | MARKYY | 181 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #3 | stizza | 126 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | ✪ peepoKing | 112 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #5 | serial killer snoopy | 77 | 0.27 | 1 min |





