








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 648 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 254 matches | ||
| Faceit | 43 matches | ||
| Esplay | 30 matches | 1,808 | |
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3268 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,083 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4309 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3153 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2961 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3660 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,612,872 of utility $188 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 261 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FuruaN | 48% | 46 |
| #2 | SlowCS #ezwithcheats | 48% | 187 |
| #3 | moen | 46% | 114 |
| #4 | Santa King™ | 45% | 38 |
| #5 | HaugeN | 44% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | moen | 46% | 114 |
| #4 | Santa King™ | 45% | 38 |
| #5 | HaugeN | 44% | 45 |
| #6 | weak | 42% | 26 |
| #7 | hackermanB^_* | 41% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SlowCS #ezwithcheats | 11 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | moen | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | hackermanB^_* | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | weak | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SlowCS #ezwithcheats | 492 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #2 | moen | 185 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #3 | FuruaN | 144 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #4 | hackermanB^_* | 127 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #5 | weak | 92 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FuruaN | +1.98 | 77 | 63 |
| #2 | HaugeN | +1.66 | 81 | 39 |
| #3 | moen | +1.07 | 75 | 48 |
| #4 | hackermanB^_* | +0.49 | 90 | 67 |
| #5 | Santa King™ | -0.21 | 67 | 64 |





