








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 485 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 134 matches | ||
| Faceit | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2305 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,269 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1485 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1677 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2245 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1862 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $741,935 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 306 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kremp | 63% | 24 |
| #2 | peek a boo | 56% | 45 |
| #3 | FuruaN | 54% | 41 |
| #4 | Minnie | 54% | 28 |
| #5 | moen | 52% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | qxy | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | hackermanB^_* | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | moen | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | HaugeN | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | RoyalShine | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kremp | +3.17 | 86 | 63 |
| #2 | FuruaN | +1.03 | 73 | 59 |
| #3 | hackermanB^_* | +0.88 | 87 | 63 |
| #4 | moen | +0.84 | 79 | 45 |
| #5 | HaugeN | +0.63 | 81 | 41 |





