








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 911 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 298 matches | ||
| Faceit | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




54 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6781 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,298 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7809 | 45% |
| Smokes | 4596 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3811 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1082 | 6% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,694,921 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 530 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NES | 59% | 152 |
| #2 | Les pieds ou ta dignité ? | 57% | 68 |
| #3 | Fondue Raclette | 57% | 95 |
| #4 | Leviosuuus 3000 | 52% | 29 |
| #5 | vroum vroum | 51% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NES | 59% | 152 |
| #2 | Les pieds ou ta dignité ? | 57% | 68 |
| #3 | Fondue Raclette | 57% | 95 |
| #4 | Leviosuuus 3000 | 52% | 29 |
| #5 | vroum vroum | 51% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NES | 20 | 0.0064 |
| #2 | Les pieds ou ta dignité ? | 9 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | Fondue Raclette | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | vroum vroum | 4 | 0.0055 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NES | 640 | 0.20 | 15 min |
| #2 | Les pieds ou ta dignité ? | 137 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | vroum vroum | 131 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #4 | Fondue Raclette | 86 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | Leviosuuus 3000 | 32 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NES | +3.37 | 84 | 62 |
| #2 | Les pieds ou ta dignité ? | +1.48 | 63 | 50 |
| #3 | Leviosuuus 3000 | +1.38 | 65 | 41 |
| #4 | Neko yōguruto | +0.89 | 74 | 63 |
| #5 | vroum vroum | -1.91 | 61 | 52 |





