








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 99 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 99 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1051 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,224 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 976 | 30% |
| Smokes | 621 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 824 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 803 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $397,402 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 156 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sascha | 88% | 8 |
| #2 | TTVcrystalbonsia95 | 79% | 24 |
| #3 | crack | 79% | 19 |
| #4 | S1eep | 73% | 40 |
| #5 | r1cen | 72% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | crack | 79% | 19 |
| #4 | S1eep | 73% | 40 |
| #5 | r1cen | 72% | 54 |
| #6 | RainingGods | 70% | 27 |
| #7 | DONT EVEN SAY NOTHIN TO ME BOY | 60% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | S1eep | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | RainingGods | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | TTVcrystalbonsia95 | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | crack | 1 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RainingGods | 195 | 0.34 | 5 min |
| #2 | r1cen | 156 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #3 | S1eep | 122 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | crack | 120 | 0.29 | 3 min |
| #5 | DONT EVEN SAY NOTHIN TO ME BOY | 65 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sascha | +3.59 | 83 | 49 |
| #2 | RainingGods | +2.44 | 87 | 71 |
| #3 | crack | +2.43 | 75 | 71 |
| #4 | r1cen | +1.08 | 69 | 66 |
| #5 | S1eep | +1.03 | 85 | 56 |





