








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1416 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 359 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5727 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,610 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4418 | 27% |
| Smokes | 5173 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 3624 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3395 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,111,314 of utility $202 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 156 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sam | 57% | 104 |
| #2 | La Reine des Tchouch | 56% | 48 |
| #3 | All Alone, like a dog | 54% | 26 |
| #4 | 𝓝𝓲𝓬𝓸𝔀𝓦/.TTV | 54% | 28 |
| #5 | AtomicKitty | 50% | 336 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | AtomicKitty | 50% | 336 |
| #6 | Theporr1aaa | 50% | 28 |
| #7 | VISOR | 45% | 31 |
| #8 | Boris | 45% | 51 |
| #9 | kicos | 37% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sam | 9 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | AtomicKitty | 8 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | Theporr1aaa | 6 | 0.0106 |
| #4 | VISOR | 2 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | 𝓝𝓲𝓬𝓸𝔀𝓦/.TTV | 2 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AtomicKitty | 745 | 0.11 | 18 min |
| #2 | Sam | 177 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | Theporr1aaa | 161 | 0.28 | 6 min |
| #4 | kicos | 154 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | Boris | 118 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rot Dam's | +3.91 | 86 | 66 |
| #2 | All Alone, like a dog | +3.22 | 87 | 64 |
| #3 | Theporr1aaa | +2.50 | 87 | 84 |
| #4 | Sam | +0.60 | 71 | 64 |
| #5 | 𝓝𝓲𝓬𝓸𝔀𝓦/.TTV | -0.10 | 72 | 64 |





