








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 374 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 423 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5909 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,479 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4774 | 25% |
| Smokes | 7572 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 4201 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2932 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,988,211 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 37 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vEGA | 54% | 87 |
| #2 | GentleGi4nt | 51% | 78 |
| #3 | coeoeoewboy | 50% | 348 |
| #4 | frezer | 48% | 124 |
| #5 | kicos | 48% | 145 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | AtomicKitty | 44% | 36 |
| #10 | Yui★ | 44% | 36 |
| #11 | Aldi Süd Niederlassung FFM | 44% | 144 |
| #12 | Sebo | 44% | 55 |
| #13 | neknek29 | 41% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | coeoeoewboy | 7 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | kiCos² | 5 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | Aldi Süd Niederlassung FFM | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | frezer | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Sebo | 4 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | coeoeoewboy | 490 | 0.07 | 11 min |
| #2 | vEGA | 367 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #3 | kicos | 312 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #4 | frezer | 298 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #5 | Aldi Süd Niederlassung FFM | 229 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rot Dam's | +4.72 | 89 | 66 |
| #2 | Boris | +2.30 | 85 | 64 |
| #3 | Sebo | +1.33 | 65 | 74 |
| #4 | Maku | +0.21 | 74 | 60 |
| #5 | kicos | -0.14 | 57 | 57 |





