








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 54 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 104 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1922 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,195 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1604 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1335 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1380 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 876 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $781,289 of utility $196 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 49 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | FringedWig46 | 59% | 63 |
| #8 | kSee | 55% | 49 |
| #9 | budey | 51% | 37 |
| #10 | MonkeyMan | 46% | 13 |
| #11 | tu | 45% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | budey | 4 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | kSee | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | wortegg | 2 | 0.0056 |
| #4 | JB | 2 | 0.0060 |
| #5 | Exerpas | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FringedWig46 | 169 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #2 | Exerpas | 80 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #3 | kSee | 70 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | wortegg | 51 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | JB | 32 | 0.10 | 1 min |





