








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 135 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 181 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2481 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,457 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3321 | 35% |
| Smokes | 2307 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1882 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1947 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $525,666 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 66 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Uma-Ness | 45% | 91 |
| #5 | Sälen -.^ | 45% | 20 |
| #6 | Holy Cow | 42% | 55 |
| #7 | helium | 41% | 29 |
| #8 | stonx ✌ | 34% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | helium | 4 | 0.0068 |
| #2 | Uma-Ness | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Holy Cow | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | lik wotcha vuleyy | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Sälen -.^ | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hopf | 168 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #2 | Uma-Ness | 158 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #3 | lik wotcha vuleyy | 70 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | stonx ✌ | 58 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | Holy Cow | 51 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | helium | +0.97 | 67 | 63 |
| #2 | Fishy_ | +0.94 | 81 | 62 |
| #3 | lik wotcha vuleyy | +0.87 | 72 | 63 |
| #4 | Uma-Ness | +0.39 | 67 | 66 |
| #5 | stonx ✌ | -1.10 | 54 | 59 |





