








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 82 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 93 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1130 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,201 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 478 | 22% |
| Smokes | 664 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 533 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 526 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $424,123 of utility $201 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 42 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | noxq. | 44% | 16 |
| #10 | i love cs 🚬 | 42% | 33 |
| #11 | NERO | 40% | 5 |
| #12 | any | 40% | 25 |
| #13 | MAGiCACHMED´ | 38% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SaN | 181 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #2 | $EYED | 134 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #3 | i love cs 🚬 | 83 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | BurningTrashcan | 75 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | any | 70 | 0.11 | 2 min |





