








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 21 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 294 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2303 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,068 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1017 | 13% |
| Smokes | 2956 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 2004 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2091 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,173,040 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 95 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GIlbert | 54% | 61 |
| #2 | DrPapaDopeDog | 46% | 106 |
| #3 | marken | 45% | 75 |
| #4 | ling g | 35% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GIlbert | 54% | 61 |
| #2 | DrPapaDopeDog | 46% | 106 |
| #3 | marken | 45% | 75 |
| #4 | ling g | 35% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | marken | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | GIlbert | 4 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | DrPapaDopeDog | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #4 | ling g | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DrPapaDopeDog | 182 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #2 | marken | 170 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | GIlbert | 71 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | ling g | 26 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | marken | +2.02 | 85 | 70 |
| #2 | GIlbert | +0.15 | 44 | 49 |
| #3 | mathias | +0.12 | 52 | 45 |
| #4 | ling g | -0.46 | 52 | 46 |
| #5 | DrPapaDopeDog | -1.12 | 39 | 49 |





