








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Premier | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
419 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,851 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 561 | 30% |
| Smokes | 334 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 509 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 447 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $225,090 of utility $184 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 102 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boyaux Rouges | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | Black ♠Jack✟Fury☯ | 50% | 4 |
| #3 | 🍌 🅳🆅🅾 | 45% | 11 |
| #4 | KaibeL | 39% | 18 |
| #5 | DrakeDraw | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | DrakeDraw | 33% | 9 |
| #6 | Criphyn | 33% | 27 |
| #7 | 𝔔𝔲𝔢𝔢𝔫𝔰𝔬𝔲 | 29% | 17 |
| #8 | Slurr | 25% | 8 |
| #9 | Je t'ai eu | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Je t'ai eu | 2 | 0.0204 |
| #2 | Criphyn | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Boyaux Rouges | 1 | 0.0085 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KaibeL | 60 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #2 | Criphyn | 57 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #3 | Slurr | 40 | 0.28 | 0 min |
| #4 | Je t'ai eu | 29 | 0.30 | 1 min |
| #5 | DrakeDraw | 27 | 0.15 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Black ♠Jack✟Fury☯ | +2.82 | 44 | 32 |
| #2 | Je t'ai eu | +2.50 | 69 | 60 |
| #3 | Criphyn | +1.26 | 51 | 59 |
| #4 | Boyaux Rouges | +0.04 | 23 | 37 |
| #5 | KaibeL | +0.01 | 67 | 58 |





