








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 698 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 55 matches | ||
| Premier | 35 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Esplay | 8 matches | 2,081 | |
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1642 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,350 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 754 | 23% |
| Smokes | 987 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 893 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 716 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $601,504 of utility $202 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 290 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bernie | 69% | 36 |
| #2 | Moltzi | 67% | 9 |
| #3 | mille | 67% | 12 |
| #4 | kerz | 56% | 79 |
| #5 | BRAJAN | 56% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Moltzi | 67% | 9 |
| #3 | mille | 67% | 12 |
| #4 | kerz | 56% | 79 |
| #5 | BRAJAN | 56% | 36 |
| #6 | Ringo | 25% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mille | 4 | 0.0148 |
| #2 | Ringo | 4 | 0.0160 |
| #3 | kerz | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | bernie | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | BRAJAN | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kerz | 163 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #2 | BRAJAN | 133 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #3 | bernie | 106 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | mille | 63 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #5 | Moltzi | 31 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mille | +6.60 | 95 | 62 |
| #2 | ev0lution =DD | +2.33 | 83 | 51 |
| #3 | kerz | +0.43 | 76 | 57 |
| #4 | bernie | +0.04 | 76 | 61 |
| #5 | Moltzi | -0.08 | 79 | 69 |





