








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 83 matches | ||
| Premier | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1774 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,830 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1436 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1083 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1613 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 698 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $723,265 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 32 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | minariii | 60% | 141 |
| #2 | d0nut | 57% | 204 |
| #3 | FOOB | 56% | 225 |
| #4 | tofuhyun | 56% | 213 |
| #5 | halcyon | 54% | 126 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | d0nut | 57% | 204 |
| #3 | FOOB | 56% | 225 |
| #4 | tofuhyun | 56% | 213 |
| #5 | halcyon | 54% | 126 |
| #6 | don't let your memes be memes | 43% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tofuhyun | 8 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | FOOB | 4 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | d0nut | 4 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | halcyon | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | minariii | 2 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FOOB | 745 | 0.16 | 22 min |
| #2 | d0nut | 533 | 0.12 | 13 min |
| #3 | tofuhyun | 462 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #4 | minariii | 295 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #5 | halcyon | 254 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | don't let your memes be memes | +2.09 | 81 | 65 |
| #2 | tofuhyun | +1.52 | 65 | 58 |
| #3 | minariii | +0.94 | 68 | 58 |
| #4 | Jeanz | +0.81 | 84 | 53 |
| #5 | d0nut | +0.35 | 66 | 61 |





