








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 90 matches | ||
| Faceit | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2361 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,723 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2067 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2731 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2334 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1591 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $739,589 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 63 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | minariii | 64% | 114 |
| #2 | tofuhyun | 58% | 183 |
| #3 | FOOB | 58% | 196 |
| #4 | Jeanz | 57% | 204 |
| #5 | halcyon | 57% | 99 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | tofuhyun | 58% | 183 |
| #3 | FOOB | 58% | 196 |
| #4 | Jeanz | 57% | 204 |
| #5 | halcyon | 57% | 99 |
| #6 | don't let your memes be memes | 38% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jeanz | 11 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | tofuhyun | 7 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | FOOB | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | minariii | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | halcyon | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FOOB | 681 | 0.16 | 21 min |
| #2 | tofuhyun | 407 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #3 | Jeanz | 300 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #4 | minariii | 253 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #5 | halcyon | 191 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tofuhyun | +1.46 | 65 | 59 |
| #2 | don't let your memes be memes | +1.30 | 82 | 64 |
| #3 | minariii | +1.10 | 68 | 59 |
| #4 | Jeanz | +0.88 | 84 | 53 |
| #5 | d0nut | +0.55 | 67 | 61 |





