








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1108 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 287 matches | ||
| Premier | 111 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 58 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5844 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,530 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9213 | 35% |
| Smokes | 5369 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 7188 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 4760 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,389,071 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 542 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | ZEY | 55% | 44 |
| #12 | hardbargainer87 | 54% | 41 |
| #13 | Golob | 54% | 112 |
| #14 | kaz | 51% | 150 |
| #15 | Klein | 49% | 112 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rabbi mike | 1115 | 0.21 | 27 min |
| #2 | stalker | 772 | 0.18 | 21 min |
| #3 | kaz | 730 | 0.22 | 21 min |
| #4 | Klein | 442 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #5 | Every Silvers Worst Nightmare | 175 | 0.19 | 4 min |





