








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1074 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 372 matches | ||
| Premier | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4896 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,771 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6454 | 34% |
| Smokes | 4652 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3381 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 4284 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,589,604 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 277 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Aspect | 60% | 30 |
| #2 | Yukihana | 59% | 37 |
| #3 | Resilient Ryan | 59% | 39 |
| #4 | Hiori | 56% | 25 |
| #5 | ♿️////////////////////////// | 54% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | ZEY | 52% | 25 |
| #7 | D R U M M I E | 51% | 150 |
| #8 | rabbi mike | 51% | 45 |
| #9 | Soxxy | 41% | 34 |
| #10 | Golob | 39% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Aspect | 3 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | Resilient Ryan | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Hiori | 2 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | D R U M M I E | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #5 | Yukihana | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | D R U M M I E | 852 | 0.26 | 28 min |
| #2 | rabbi mike | 206 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #3 | Hiori | 162 | 0.31 | 5 min |
| #4 | ✪ Aspect | 135 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #5 | Resilient Ryan | 117 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Aspect | +1.75 | 68 | 71 |
| #2 | Resilient Ryan | +1.31 | 78 | 64 |
| #3 | ♿️////////////////////////// | +1.22 | 77 | 55 |
| #4 | kaz | +0.68 | 75 | 67 |
| #5 | rabbi mike | +0.33 | 61 | 70 |





