








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1284 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 380 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




45 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3087 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,918 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2697 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1639 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 2462 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2120 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,846,822 of utility $198 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2463 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Space Rat | 54% | 57 |
| #2 | f1mple | 52% | 46 |
| #3 | SoulGaming | 50% | 32 |
| #4 | StepBro Rat | 49% | 47 |
| #5 | lawang | 48% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Zebruary | 45% | 80 |
| #8 | Alcoholic Rat | 41% | 27 |
| #9 | s n o o z e | 38% | 29 |
| #10 | Pope Rat | 38% | 40 |
| #11 | P90 Queen | 36% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chef Rat | 20 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | Zebruary | 10 | 0.0060 |
| #3 | s n o o z e | 7 | 0.0121 |
| #4 | Pope Rat | 6 | 0.0070 |
| #5 | Alcoholic Rat | 6 | 0.0113 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chef Rat | 215 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| #2 | f1mple | 209 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| #3 | Pope Rat | 51 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | SoulGaming | 46 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | lawang | 46 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lawang | +5.04 | 78 | 56 |
| #2 | f1mple | +3.15 | 39 | 66 |
| #3 | Chef Rat | +2.07 | 67 | 37 |
| #4 | Zebruary | +1.14 | 68 | 22 |
| #5 | Alcoholic Rat | +0.97 | 47 | 19 |





