








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 36 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 90 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1067 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,518 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 28 | 2% |
| Smokes | 401 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 465 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 624 | 41% |
Our logs show you have wasted $325,539 of utility $76 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crazyy Da Pimp | 42% | 45 |
| #2 | YOUMADBRO™ | 42% | 19 |
| #3 | YOUMADCALLME | 42% | 31 |
| #4 | Sjeiken | 41% | 97 |
| #5 | YOUMADDUTTE™ | 41% | 141 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YOUMADBEAN™ | 321 | 0.27 | 8 min |
| #2 | Sjeiken | 130 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | YOUMADBRO™ | 119 | 0.29 | 3 min |
| #4 | Crazyy Da Pimp | 61 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | YOUMADDUTTE™ | 59 | 0.02 | 1 min |





