








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1317 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1060 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 77 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




72 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
13309 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 32,288 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8489 | 26% |
| Smokes | 6884 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 10954 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 5961 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,005,141 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1503 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kiriku | 56% | 91 |
| #2 | dzman | 51% | 357 |
| #3 | eXon シ | 50% | 138 |
| #4 | Thomiy | 49% | 77 |
| #5 | Autokomanda[BG] | 49% | 111 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | eXon シ | 50% | 138 |
| #4 | Thomiy | 49% | 77 |
| #5 | Autokomanda[BG] | 49% | 111 |
| #6 | Baya. | 48% | 283 |
| #7 | Stella Rossa | 46% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dzman | 18 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Baya. | 15 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | eXon シ | 9 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | Autokomanda[BG] | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Stella Rossa | 4 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dzman | 1127 | 0.15 | 31 min |
| #2 | Baya. | 784 | 0.13 | 17 min |
| #3 | eXon シ | 251 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #4 | Thomiy | 228 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #5 | kiriku | 132 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thomiy | +1.89 | 65 | 65 |
| #2 | kiriku | +0.79 | 61 | 68 |
| #3 | Zlatni™ | +0.72 | 80 | 62 |
| #4 | eXon シ | +0.49 | 53 | 57 |
| #5 | Baya. | +0.21 | 52 | 61 |





