








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 218 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 113 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1780 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,956 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2096 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1723 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1039 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1098 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $467,789 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 337 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Luke Skywalker | 46% | 99 |
| #2 | Bucket | 46% | 94 |
| #3 | Saucy_Steve_ | 42% | 33 |
| #4 | Icekitty | 29% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Luke Skywalker | 46% | 99 |
| #2 | Bucket | 46% | 94 |
| #3 | Saucy_Steve_ | 42% | 33 |
| #4 | Icekitty | 29% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bucket | 13 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | Luke Skywalker | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Saucy_Steve_ | 3 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | Icekitty | 2 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Luke Skywalker | 320 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #2 | Saucy_Steve_ | 108 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #3 | Bucket | 60 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #4 | Icekitty | 43 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nomi | +1.70 | 74 | 60 |
| #2 | Luke Skywalker | +1.14 | 75 | 58 |
| #3 | Saucy_Steve_ | +1.07 | 65 | 60 |
| #4 | Bucket | -2.76 | 39 | 40 |
| #5 | Icekitty | -3.19 | 36 | 55 |





