








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 42 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2608 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,491 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2548 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2111 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1797 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2035 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $683,096 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 167 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Bucket | 46% | 46 |
| #11 | nomi | 42% | 33 |
| #12 | TheShitStef | 40% | 20 |
| #13 | xX-_-YUNG-SH1VA-_-Xx | 39% | 18 |
| #14 | Luke Skywalker | 35% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nomi | 151 | 0.26 | 4 min |
| #2 | LarkoTaco | 136 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #3 | hedgehogblack1123 | 125 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| #4 | Freelogen | 121 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #5 | HEXED | 106 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | COOOOOOOOFFEE | +4.63 | 91 | 64 |
| #2 | LarkoTaco | +4.41 | 74 | 68 |
| #3 | xX-_-YUNG-SH1VA-_-Xx | +3.56 | 94 | 61 |
| #4 | HEXED | +2.41 | 76 | 55 |
| #5 | Bloody Karma | +2.11 | 83 | 50 |





