








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 26 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
904 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,391 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 862 | 25% |
| Smokes | 986 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 816 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 727 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $409,728 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 69 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Glymir' | 79% | 29 |
| #2 | Barbe Douce | 62% | 21 |
| #3 | Nicrolix | 60% | 25 |
| #4 | NiepNiepNiepNiepNiep | 60% | 30 |
| #5 | Amenouxx™ | 54% | 138 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Barbe Douce | 62% | 21 |
| #3 | Nicrolix | 60% | 25 |
| #4 | NiepNiepNiepNiepNiep | 60% | 30 |
| #5 | Amenouxx™ | 54% | 138 |
| #6 | Brukas | 25% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Amenouxx™ | 20 | 0.0074 |
| #2 | NiepNiepNiepNiepNiep | 5 | 0.0085 |
| #3 | Nicrolix | 3 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | Barbe Douce | 3 | 0.0069 |
| #5 | Glymir' | 2 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Amenouxx™ | 465 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #2 | Glymir' | 191 | 0.34 | 5 min |
| #3 | NiepNiepNiepNiepNiep | 106 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #4 | Nicrolix | 28 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Brukas | 24 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Glymir' | +9.22 | 90 | 81 |
| #2 | Amenouxx™ | +4.60 | 77 | 54 |
| #3 | Nicrolix | -1.71 | 69 | 29 |
| #4 | Hayto_ | -1.73 | 58 | 50 |
| #5 | Barbe Douce | -1.91 | 40 | 43 |





