








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 74 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 154 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




56 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5430 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,444 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3846 | 37% |
| Smokes | 1806 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 1844 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2948 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $849,674 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 29 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | A1kaline | 65% | 26 |
| #2 | Coach | 61% | 140 |
| #3 | yurt | 60% | 118 |
| #4 | dom | 59% | 98 |
| #5 | JcV | 59% | 87 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Coach | 85 | 0.0312 |
| #2 | JcV | 20 | 0.0113 |
| #3 | yurt | 19 | 0.0081 |
| #4 | nyoiknyoiknyoik | 17 | 0.0057 |
| #5 | zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz:( | 5 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dom | 535 | 0.27 | 12 min |
| #2 | yurt | 524 | 0.22 | 14 min |
| #3 | JcV | 307 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #4 | ☆ choiboi | 305 | 0.24 | 8 min |
| #5 | zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz:( | 275 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☆ choiboi | +4.16 | 92 | 69 |
| #2 | JcV | +3.07 | 83 | 53 |
| #3 | voltzy | +2.99 | 86 | 52 |
| #4 | cloudwalker | +1.10 | 64 | 62 |
| #5 | zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz:( | +1.01 | 77 | 60 |





