








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 21 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2262 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,186 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3120 | 43% |
| Smokes | 2050 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 355 | 5% |
| Molotovs | 1661 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $563,103 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 96 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☆ choiboi | 64% | 66 |
| #2 | voltzy | 60% | 118 |
| #3 | Coach | 59% | 69 |
| #4 | JcV | 59% | 44 |
| #5 | dom | 59% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Coach | 59% | 69 |
| #4 | JcV | 59% | 44 |
| #5 | dom | 59% | 66 |
| #6 | nyoiknyoiknyoik | 56% | 94 |
| #7 | zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz:( | 48% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Coach | 41 | 0.0299 |
| #2 | voltzy | 14 | 0.0059 |
| #3 | nyoiknyoiknyoik | 9 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | JcV | 9 | 0.0101 |
| #5 | ☆ choiboi | 4 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | voltzy | 409 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #2 | dom | 364 | 0.27 | 9 min |
| #3 | ☆ choiboi | 297 | 0.22 | 8 min |
| #4 | JcV | 149 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #5 | nyoiknyoiknyoik | 126 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☆ choiboi | +4.43 | 92 | 70 |
| #2 | voltzy | +3.90 | 84 | 52 |
| #3 | JcV | +2.52 | 82 | 51 |
| #4 | yurt | +0.71 | 76 | 62 |
| #5 | Coach | +0.48 | 71 | 43 |





