








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 97 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 86 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1556 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,010 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 531 | 18% |
| Smokes | 796 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1038 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 645 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $556,446 of utility $199 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 217 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Machine Gun Kelly | 71% | 14 |
| #2 | Stay humble, eh? | 70% | 10 |
| #3 | Critias | 57% | 14 |
| #4 | Baashy | 50% | 12 |
| #5 | High Five | 50% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Baashy | 50% | 12 |
| #5 | High Five | 50% | 38 |
| #6 | Jeli | 43% | 14 |
| #7 | my teammates are dumb | 40% | 10 |
| #8 | iSMITHY24 | 13% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | High Five | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Critias | 2 | 0.0070 |
| #3 | Machine Gun Kelly | 1 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | Baashy | 1 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | iSMITHY24 | 1 | 0.0055 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | High Five | 86 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #2 | Baashy | 48 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #3 | Critias | 43 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | Machine Gun Kelly | 36 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | Stay humble, eh? | 29 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Machine Gun Kelly | +6.55 | 61 | 66 |
| #2 | my teammates are dumb | +5.86 | 95 | 48 |
| #3 | Critias | +4.01 | 71 | 70 |
| #4 | Baashy | +1.19 | 69 | 66 |
| #5 | Guts | +0.90 | 76 | 58 |





