








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 620 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 59 matches | ||
| Premier | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2809 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,867 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3246 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2608 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2094 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1919 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $979,784 of utility $168 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 209 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grok in my rari | 58% | 19 |
| #2 | LIL MAN | 51% | 45 |
| #3 | FTCNARD5 | 38% | 34 |
| #4 | Heisenberg | 35% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grok in my rari | 58% | 19 |
| #2 | LIL MAN | 51% | 45 |
| #3 | FTCNARD5 | 38% | 34 |
| #4 | Heisenberg | 35% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LIL MAN | 8 | 0.0098 |
| #2 | Heisenberg | 6 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | FTCNARD5 | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Grok in my rari | 1 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Heisenberg | 178 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #2 | FTCNARD5 | 110 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #3 | LIL MAN | 34 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | Grok in my rari | 13 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ENatty400 | +1.83 | 62 | 69 |
| #2 | Grok in my rari | +1.40 | 57 | 40 |
| #3 | Heisenberg | -0.40 | 63 | 54 |
| #4 | LIL MAN | -0.63 | 67 | 29 |
| #5 | FTCNARD5 | -4.19 | 17 | 58 |





