








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 931 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 352 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3289 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,072 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5797 | 34% |
| Smokes | 4668 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3478 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3129 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,678,634 of utility $189 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 144 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | teebs | 56% | 154 |
| #2 | euihyuN | 55% | 71 |
| #3 | i flame za1N | 54% | 178 |
| #4 | za1N | 54% | 359 |
| #5 | CW | 53% | 399 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | euihyuN | 55% | 71 |
| #3 | i flame za1N | 54% | 178 |
| #4 | za1N | 54% | 359 |
| #5 | CW | 53% | 399 |
| #6 | HECTIC | 52% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CW | 18 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | za1N | 13 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | i flame za1N | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | euihyuN | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | teebs | 3 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | za1N | 801 | 0.10 | 18 min |
| #2 | teebs | 746 | 0.23 | 20 min |
| #3 | i flame za1N | 290 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #4 | CW | 237 | 0.03 | 8 min |
| #5 | euihyuN | 91 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CW | +1.24 | 92 | 48 |
| #2 | euihyuN | +0.79 | 75 | 64 |
| #3 | teebs | +0.65 | 50 | 72 |
| #4 | petersung | +0.54 | 68 | 70 |
| #5 | i flame za1N | +0.23 | 67 | 67 |





